Living Life, Instead of Documenting It

The last four weeks my social life has been very active. I mean, it just simply exploded. We've lived in Houston for over a year, and my husband, Leland, and I haven't had as much go on in our lives socially in that time as we have in the past four weeks. It's been nuts trying to keep up with everything, and make sure we're not late (yes, we've become those people), and also make sure I don't run myself to death.

But, it's also been fun. 

We've been able to spend a lot of time with our precious families and friends, some of who we haven't seen in a long, long time.

But, most importantly, in the whirlwind that has been my life, I have made some important self discovery.

I've always been the family photographic documentarian.  Snapping every important moment in the happenings of our life WAS my life. I wanted to make sure there was proof later.

Proof of what, though? Why did I need 117 pictures of a 5 minute visit to McDonalds on a Tuesday afternoon? How did I even fit 117 pictures into that span of time anyway...?

I needed proof that I was there. That that moment happened. That I was a part of that memory.  All 117 parts of it. Even if it seems insignificant to others, it was significant to me, and my camera was going to capture the proof.

Now, back to the past whirlwind four weeks. I recently sat down to take a look at all of my pictures, assuming I was going to have to cull at least 1200 to save some space. However, I had a revelation! There were not 1200 pictures! There weren't even 100. 

How did I go from taking 117 pictures in 5 minutes, to taking less than a hundred in four weeks - consisting of major life events, such as baby showers, family reunions, and hosting my first party since my transplant? Some major introspective meditation thus occurred...

After I returned from my "Mind Palace," I realized what was happening. I had taken photos of my choice favorite moments, but I didn't feel the need to take photos of EVERYTHING. I didn't feel the overwhelming need to have proof later, because I was too busy living in the memory right then.  I was there, in the moment, really experiencing things with the people I love, instead of worrying about what was to come, and if I would have enough proof of to last me when I wasn't there. Or to last them when I wasn't there. 

There's something about nearly loosing your life that makes you realize how you want to live it. 

Yes I know it's cliche. And I know there are a lot of you rolling your eyes right now. But, seeing less photos on my phone made me learn that about my new self.

I can live life now, instead of just documenting it.